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Coming Home



One Day,” the song that lent its name to The Brooklyn Players Reading Society’s new EP, was the very first song I ever wrote. I was 23, working in coffee shops, unsure about what I wanted in life and anxious as hell about it. The words to this song had been floating around my brain for weeks, but I hadn’t yet recognized them as lyrics. I was confident in my identity as a writer, but my anxiety disorder had buried the musician in me long ago. The idea of singing my words had never occurred to me.

And then one evening, after a profound conversation with Dave in which he’d convinced me to try making music again, I found myself on the G train, lugging an enormous 88-key Yamaha home from Guitar Center, listening to those words bounce around my head.

At first I only played through scales and a few songs I remembered from talent shows, but over time, I started improvising a little – something I’d never done before. My past life as a musician had been focused on playing sheet music perfectly, and this focus only fed my anxiety. The act of sitting down and playing whatever I wanted felt freeing, empowering even.

I kept returning to a simple bass groove with a syncopated melody over it, but I was never quite satisfied. The words in my head continually protruded themselves into my mouth, daring me to let them out. One day, when I was certain that Dave and our across-the-hall neighbor were both at work and therefore unable to hear me, I finally decided to give it a try. Heart pounding, I opened my lips and sang. It was scary, but it was also amazing, and the more I sang, the better it felt.

It took a couple of weeks to work up enough courage to play my song for Dave – so long as he sat in a separate room of the apartment in silence with the lights out – but that was enough to urge me on. “One Day” grew from there until a few years later, I got up on a stage, sat behind my keyboard and started singing into a mic, Dave on the drums beside me. My fingers shook, my breath came in spurts, and I wanted to puke, but I didn’t. Somehow, I made it through the song, and when the crowd clapped and “woo”-ed for us at the end, a rush of pure glee came over me. I understood for the very first time that performing could actually be fun.

“One Day” has morphed and grown over the years, but still, whenever I play it, I feel a special kind of contentment settle in me, like all the different versions of myself are coming home together, warm and safe inside this song.

Reaching Beyond the Saguaros

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I am thrilled to be included in Serving House Books recent travelogue project based around the concept of home, and I’m especially excited that my short memoir was featured alongside the one and only Richard J. O’Brien. Huge thanks to Heather Lang for her amazing editorial work and to David Pischke for his beautiful cover art!

“I come from tobacca, bourbon, bluegrass and born agains, horse farms and meth labs and biscuits with milk gravy.  A land of toothless grins in forgotten towns preserved like defunded museums.  I turned eighteen and fled.

Now, as I sit on a rooftop and stare at the buildings glittering in the sky like the jagged ups-and-downs of my lifeline, I am awe-struck by my own duality: the misplaced Metropolitan returned to her long-lost city / the simple country girl yearning for her woods.  Both a curse and a gift, I’m always home yet never home.”

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“Home Grown” Was a Blast – The Resistance Is Strong!

What an inspiring and motivating night! Many thanks to poet Terence Degnan, novelist Nora Fussner, blues/rock band JSanti, and folk/country group Brotherhood of the Jug Band Blues for killin’ it this past Saturday, and to Sidewalk for having us. And thanks to all of YOU for supporting us artists and the NYCLU! We raised over $200, wooo! Stay strong, ya’ll, and check back every Friday for a new post + info on all the happenings with The Brooklyn Players Reading Society.

The BPRS Presents “Home Grown”- An NYCLU Fundraiser @ Sidewalk Cafe on Sat, March 4th!

The BPRS Presents “Home Grown” – An NYCLU Fundraiser at Sidewalk Cafe, Saturday, March 4th, 6-9 pm, $10+ suggested donation! All proceeds go to the NYCLU!

untitled-by-anthony-finePhoto by Anthony Fine

Join us on Saturday, March 4th at Sidewalk Cafe (94 Avenue A) for a night of words and music featuring poet Terence Degnan, novelist Nora Fussner, singer/songwriter John Santiago, rock/poetry duo The Brooklyn Players Reading Society (that’s us!), and folk/country group Brotherhood of the Jug Band Blues. Literary door prizes, too!

In light of the recent executive order telling refugees, immigrants, and even legal green card holding residents that America is no longer their home, the reading portion of the night will revolve around the question, “What is home?” We’ll also provide you with resources and ways to join the resistance so that you’ll leave ready to act.

$10+ suggested donation – all proceeds go to the New York Civil Liberties Union!

Come share ideas, enjoy some art, and get motivated. RSVP on Facebook! #artistsresist

There’s more great music after our show so please stick around! Blues band Victor V. Gurbo goes on at 9, followed by The Line Up, a hip-hop/soul/rock showcase presented by CPP and The Band Called FUSE. Hosted by Silent Knight. (Read: dance party!)

Please note that Sidewalk has a two item minimum (including delicious food, beer, wine, cocktails and non-alcoholic drinks).